Thursday, October 05, 2006

Wednesday Blues

Yesterday consisted of lot of very bad things. Here's what happened:

7:30am: Co-worker and I had another huge disagreement. She's the biggest bully I have ever met, and yesterday I was not going to take it anymore.

9:30am: I was told my department is moving to Des Moines, Iowa in April 2007. I have 6 months to find a new job (Pray I find a new job soon).

3:15pm-4:10pm: I had a huge fight with my Mother. She called yesterday "telling" me I needed to move my damn ass home (her exact words). It's been way too long since I lived at home. Texas is NOT my home, Louisiana is. She does not understand why I have chosen my friends in Texas over my Family. How could I have been gone for 10.5 years away my family and her? She is trying to understand why?! What keeps me in Texas? My Mother is not in Texas....she's in Louisiana, and that's where I should be. When I have children, I will understand what she is going through. I have wasted my life in Dallas and my time with my family was wasted.

Friends: I love and respect my Mother, but there are days when I want to just stop calling her. Yesterday was one of those days. Texas has been my home for 10.5 years. Since it's been 10.5 years, why can she not just let this subject go? Every time she brings this up, it only drives me away from her more. My decision to live in Texas does not reflect on my love for her or my family. Yes, I love her, but my life does not have to revolve around her. I have my own life to live. I MUST form my own life away from my family. It all comes down to this: My Mother did not have a great relationship with her Mother. So, she wants the perfect relationship with me. She does not realize we are not perfect. My Mom Misses me, but she simply can not just say that......She must get angry at me. My Mother will never understand me or my decisions. Mom must "try" to control all aspects of her life, and the lives of her loved ones. I am an adult and I will control my own life. She does not have any tact when it comes to handling personal issues (especially with me). She does not know how to keep her mouth closed when it comes to family members. She thinks b/c she is my Mother, she can say anything she wants to my Brother and me. The Mother status does not give her this privilege. Mom is way to clinging to me. When I am visiting in Louisiana, at times I feel like I am being smothered by her. Please pray for my relationship with my Mother.

4:45pm: While taking the dogs outside, I fell in a huge mud puddle. My entire back-side was covered in mud & water. I had to take off my flip-flops to actually walk without falling again.

4:50pm: I had to do the walk of shame back to my apartment covered in mud. The mud kept falling off my rear end in clumps, and I smelled horrible. The smell from the mud & water was horridness.

5:00pm: I washed my cellphone in the washing machine. I have another cell phone I am using right now, but my new cellphone got washed. Yeah, ME!


I probably should have stayed in bed yesterday! Praise God, today is a new day. Today is the Day the Lord has Made........Let us rejoice in it!

3 comments:

Heather said...

Oh honey, I'm sorry. Remind me to give you a book that I found very helpful in dealing with the whole mother/daughter relationship thing. Don't let me forget when you're over here Sat.

Blueeyes said...

I would really appreciate the book! You are the best!

3 Men, 2 Ladies & a Hound said...

I do belive you should have a "do over" day. I am so sorry you had to experience all of those terrible things!

I love you!