Thursday, January 25, 2007

Sunday, November 17, 2002: The 13 things I have done without YOU!

It was not a cold day on Sunday, November 17, 2002. I was sick the week before, and finally feeling better. I was cooking dinner for my boyfriend, Gene. I made homemade lasagna. I cleaned my home, and took a shower--even put on a little make up.
I only talked to Gene twice the entire time I was sick which was unusual since we normally talked everyday. The last time I saw him was on Nov. 10th.
Gene was struggling with our relationship....he needed time.....he needed space.....but he still loved me.......blah, blah, blah. He finally comes over, and I was so excited to see him. Until he sat on my sofa, and told me he wanted to end things.
He cried....I cried. I kept thinking "Why is HE crying? He is doing the breaking up!" He told me he "tried" to love me, but could not (can you actually imagine saying this to someone???). He needed his space & time.
He neglected to tell me he was cheating on me with one of my friends who was pregnant with his child.
I remember telling him: "How am I going to live without you?" "What am I going to do without you?" (what a silly foolish female I was back then) I have been really thinking about writing this blog for a long time. Since Thursday's are dedicated to the Thursday Thirteen, I wanted to write 13 things I have done without him, reasons why I am better off without him, and reasons how blessed I am to not have him in my life:

1. You are NOT the Christian Man I thought you were. I was NOT the Christian I needed/wanted to be when I was with you.

2. I have grown so much as a Christian and Women without you....I can not simply imagine my life any other way.

3. I lost my laughter when I was with you.........It took some time after I got over the breakup to find it again........BUT I have it back and I am so Blessed to have God's Happiness and Joy in my life again.

4. My friendships stopped growing when we were together. Now, my friends and I have wonderful relationships.

5. God has a wonderful Christian man....no, Godly man......in store for me. Praise God for God's plan, and NOT my own.

6. I no longer have to buy triple the amount of toilet paper anymore. What did you do with all that paper?

7. When we were together, you loved going to eat at buffet's. I no longer have to do that (don't get me wrong, buffet's are great, but everyday is not good for my health).

8. I have lost 64 lbs. because I am HAPPY.

9. I do not have to eat your chili........or at least what you thought was Chili. My Dad and my Friend, Kenny, makes chili that would blow your socks off.

10. I learned how to stand up for myself, fight for my beliefs, and walk away from relationships when they become to difficult or unhealthy.

11. I learned what I will or will not tolerate when it comes to relationships & what is really important in life.

12. I have come to realize I really hated your cologne and your laundry detergent.

13. God is who he says he is, God can do what he says he can do, I am who God Says I am, I can do all things through Christ, and God's Word is Alive & Active in me. (Thank you Beth Moore for opening my eyes to see my happiness only comes from Christ)

1 comment:

3 Men, 2 Ladies & a Hound said...

What a wonderful post Tammy. It took courage to write about this situation and I am proud of you.

I didn't know you in 2002, but I have seen you grow tremendously in your faith over the last year and a half.

God does have a perfect plan for you and he will provide in his own timing.